Overview
For years, I thought I was just "moody" or "dramatic." My highs were attributed to my "passionate personality." My lows were "just depression." At 28, after a manic episode landed me in the hospital, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. Here's what I learned.The Pattern I Didn't See
The highs: Weeks where I'd sleep 4 hours and feel amazing. Start five new projects. Talk so fast people couldn't keep up. Spend money I didn't have. Feel invincible. Everyone loved "fun me."
The lows: Crash hard. Couldn't get out of bed. Felt like a completely different person. Hated myself for the mess I'd made during highs. Got diagnosed with depression, tried antidepressants—which made me manic.
The cycle: This pattern repeated for years. I thought it was just my personality.The Breaking Point
At 28, I had my first full manic episode (Bipolar I). Didn't sleep for five days. Quit my job impulsively. Spent thousands. My partner knew something was seriously wrong and took me to the ER. That's where a psychiatrist finally asked the right questions.The Diagnosis: Relief and Grief
Relief: It wasn't my fault. There was a medical explanation. Treatment existed.
Grief: I grieved the years lost to misdiagnosis. The relationships damaged. The opportunities missed. The person I thought I was. Accepting I have a chronic condition that requires lifelong management.
Both feelings are valid. This is what they don't tell you about diagnosis.Finding the Right Treatment
Medication: Mood stabilizer (lithium) changed everything. No more dramatic highs and lows. First time I felt stable in my entire adult life.
Therapy: CBT and DBT helped me recognize early warning signs. Developed a relapse prevention plan.
Lifestyle: Sleep schedule is non-negotiable. Alcohol triggers episodes. Stress management is crucial. Exercise helps stabilize mood.
Support system: Educated my partner and close friends. They know my warning signs and how to help.Living with Bipolar
It's manageable: With treatment, I'm stable. I have a job, relationships, hobbies. Bipolar doesn't define me.
It requires work: Daily medication, regular therapy, monitoring sleep, managing stress. Some people call it "high maintenance"—I call it survival.
Stigma is real: I'm selective about who I tell. The word "bipolar" carries weight people don't understand.
I'm not alone: Finding community—online and in support groups—reminded me that millions of people live full lives with bipolar disorder.What I Wish I'd Known
• If antidepressants make you feel "too good" or wired, tell your doctor—it might be hypomania
• Mood swings that impact your life aren't just "personality"
• Diagnosis isn't a life sentence—it's a roadmap to treatment
• Stability is possible, even if it feels impossible now
• You might grieve your diagnosis. That's normal
• The right treatment makes all the differenceConclusion
Getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 28 felt like the end of the world. Five years later, I see it as the beginning of my real life. I'm stable, I'm medicated, I'm in therapy, and I'm okay. If you're newly diagnosed or wondering if this is you, know this: diagnosis is not a death sentence. It's information. And with information comes the power to change your life.