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Your First Therapy Session: What to Actually Expect

Nervous about starting therapy? Here's exactly what happens in a first session, what to say, questions your therapist will ask, and how to prepare.

7 min readAugust 28, 2024
first therapy sessionstarting therapywhat to expecttherapy preparation

Your first therapy session can feel intimidating. What do you even say? Will you have to lie on a couch? Here's what actually happens—and how to make the most of it.

Before the Session

Paperwork

You'll likely complete intake forms covering your contact info, medical history, current symptoms, and consent for treatment. Some therapists send these ahead; others have you arrive early.

What to Bring

  • Insurance card (if using insurance)
  • List of current medications
  • Any relevant medical records
  • Notes on what you want to discuss
  • Questions for your therapist

What Happens in the First Session

The First 5 Minutes

Your therapist will introduce themselves, explain confidentiality (and its limits), and help you get comfortable. You won't be asked to spill everything immediately.

Questions They'll Ask

Expect questions like:

  • 'What brings you to therapy today?'
  • 'How long have you been experiencing this?'
  • 'What have you tried so far?'
  • 'What does a typical day look like?'
  • 'Tell me about your support system'
  • 'What are you hoping to get from therapy?'

What You Don't Have to Do

  • Share everything in the first session
  • Talk about trauma immediately
  • Have all the answers
  • Stop yourself from crying
  • Perform or be entertaining
It's okay to say 'I'm not ready to talk about that yet.' A good therapist will respect your pace.

What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

Useful phrases:

  • 'I'm not sure where to start'
  • 'I feel anxious/sad/stuck and I'm not sure why'
  • 'Someone recommended I try therapy'
  • 'I've been dealing with [X] for a while and it's getting worse'
  • 'I don't know if this is serious enough for therapy, but...'

Assessing the Fit

The first session is also for you to assess the therapist. Notice:

  • Do you feel heard?
  • Does the therapist explain their approach?
  • Do you feel judged?
  • Can you imagine opening up to this person?
  • Did they answer your questions clearly?
Research shows the therapeutic relationship—how connected you feel to your therapist—is one of the biggest predictors of success. It's okay to try a few therapists before committing.

After the Session

Your therapist may:

  • Summarize what they heard
  • Share initial impressions (not a diagnosis)
  • Recommend a treatment approach
  • Discuss session frequency (usually weekly)
  • Give you something to think about or try before next time

Common First-Session Worries

'What if I cry?'

Therapists are used to tears. They have tissues. Crying is normal and often helpful.

'What if my problems aren't serious enough?'

If something is bothering you, it's worth addressing. You don't need a crisis to deserve support.

'What if I don't like them?'

Give it 2-3 sessions unless something feels very wrong. But trust your gut—if it's not a fit, it's okay to try someone else.

The Bottom Line

Your first therapy session is mostly about getting to know each other and establishing what you want to work on. There's no pressure to solve everything or share your deepest secrets. Just showing up is the hardest part—and you've already committed to that.

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.